And you thought yesterday couldn't get anymore hair pulling, well then you would be wrong. After work I picked up the 4 kids, met a lady at Freddie's to sell her the Skunk costume (I love Craigslist only one costume left) and then I had the bright idea to stop by the grocery store. Really I think I have a relapse every time of what the last time was like, it's like having a baby you only think of the cute little bundle of joy not the pain that went with that! Yup I did just compare grocery shopping with 4 kids to child birth, deal with it!
So our short ride to the grocery store should have been a warning to turn back and go home, but no I really need bananas and half and half. During our drive Khari keeps pulling the babies hand which makes him cry and Cole yell at Khair to knock it off and Roy just sits there looking annoyed. I want to turn to him and go you're annoyed, really try being me for a day! We get to the grocery store where I put the two little ones in the cart and let the older 2 walk. Which of course lead to Cole running around like a madman, me raising my voice and using his full name several times. Really moms why do we use the full name, I know it's something our parents did but is it the magic words or just the tone of our voice or maybe it just makes us feel better ... I'll go with that! By this time I'm speed walking thru the grocery store just wanting to get out of there. I'm on the last isle when I look down at Khari in the cart. This is when I see that she has taken the bag of cocktail wieners and biten the WHOLE bag, she's done this to me before with a block of cheese. At this point I almost lost my cookies and of course I was one of those bad people that switched out the bag for a new one since that one was ruined. Ok stop sighing at me I know it really wasn't the right thing to do but I really might have screamed at the top of my lungs or started crying. Next shopping trip (I know I'm crazy like that) with all the kids I'm going to center Khari with can goods nothing she can bite threw.
I finally check out and get to the car where Roy opens the door and hops right in, sure no problem a little help is not needed. I load the 3 kids in the car and then put the bags in the car and walk the cart back. We head home and by this time I'm ready to put everyone in the corner for their behavior. We pull in the driveway and Roy bolts for the door. Not so fast young man your part of my family and you're going to help! So I ask him to help me with the bags, I turn around to grab one. I turn back around to pass a bag and to my surprise he's gone, I look up and he's at the door. Ugh ... please for once give me a break! I call him back over to the car to help, I pass him the one bag and ask him to wait and I'll give him another. Yup that was pushing it, by the time I turn around the 2nd time he's gone. I call for him to come back and help but no luck he literally dropped the bag on the kitchen table and went into his room and shut the door! Fine no worries I'll just load the kids in, the groceries, prepare YOUR dinner and then oh yeah clean YOUR dishes also! Yup I so got this handled!
I get in the cupboard to find I only have 1 CAN of sloppy joe mix (nice to know since I was JUST AT THE GROCERY STORE), ok I'm about to loose it. About this time the speed race called Cole and Khari start after threatening to throw them both in the corner they slow down for a total of 2 minutes. Cole must have ate a TON of sugar since he was bouncing off the walls and keeps getting sent to the corner, if I could enforce it Khari and Caden would be there too. By this time Tarra shows up with hamburger and get this Banana's (yup could have skipped the store since they were out of half and half and the banana's looked horrible). I quick switch of plans and it's hamburgers tonight which made Roy happy since he let me know that he really didn't like the menu I had planned earlier. He asks everyday what is on the menu, to be honest kid I don't know until I get there and open the cupboard sorry I'm not the school and have a schedule printed up!
During our time in the kitchen we tired to enforce the no kids in the kitchen which was fine with the 2 older ones, now the younger ones where the challenge. I kept chasing Caden back out, while Tarra tired to keep Khari on the chair (I think we're both trying to get the ringing from the screams out of our ears) ... oh house rules how dare us parents be so mean! I know we'll be the topic of therapy years to come! Thankfully dinner was quiet for the most part and Rick showed up and took the two older ones to the mall for Roy to get some new "Non-Skull" hoodies that he can wear at school. Finally peace and quiet, well as much as you can get with two toddlers cranky and needing sleep. I so know you want to Wife Swap with me, don't deny it!
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I am not good at keeping my nose out of other peoples business so I am going to go ahead and offer you my thoughts...You can tell me to shut up anytime.
ReplyDeleteI think you really need to let Roy see you get truely angry and then put your foot down. LOCK the cookies and snacks up. You could even go so far as to lock the fridge. I understand he's not your child and there is a limit to what punishment can be doled out, but certainly a time out like a toddler gets is ok? Even if you have to stand over him to make sure he doesn't get up. Your rules are your rules and as you are the adult you should be respected. Period.
The little kid time outs always work in the highchair for me. I strap 'em in and face 'em to the wall. They usually calm down after about 5 minutes (well, Jake does, and my friends kid stands in the corner without complaint so I guess I could just be lucky).
I dunno, I guess I am just not about to be pushed around by a 10 year old and I don't think you have to suffer it either. I think the problem is that Roy knows there are no consequenses to his actions.
Ok I'm done I'll pull my nose out now. I hope you guys have a great weekend (speaking of guys, don't even try to win the toilet battle...you are in a house of males and largely outnumbered...)
LOL you're soo RIGHT!! Something has to give before I go completly nuts! I mean I've opened up my home and been welcoming and loving. Which means I also deserve a little bit of respect! I love the highchair idea, I never thought of that!
ReplyDeleteYou're so far from sticking your nose, I wouldn't post these things if I really didn't want feedback and help. Sometimes it helps to talk and throw it out there and hope that another mom can offer some advice!
You rock Thanks so much girl!
Ok, I was thinking a little more about your Roy issues. I think something that may really hit home with him is the removal of priveledges, such as TV time, or dessert/treats. He is a guest in your home and, as much as a 10 year old can be expected to, act like it. Kids are kids, I get it, but they NEED limitations - in fact they kinda go nuts without them (so says my pediatrician). You might even go so far as to start removing toys/etc. from his room until he can start following the rules of his room (NO FOOD). Not allowing him things until he can ask politely for them (may I have a snack please? may I watch a certain TV program?)...Hope some of this helps. :)
ReplyDeleteYou so right, now doing it with out the world crumbling around me. Last time I tried to enforce the "leave the door open" rule I all of a sudden had a string of calls saying that my son was doing this and that to him. So to test my theory I stopped trying to enforce the rule and of course all was said that it was better and he longer wanted to leave!
ReplyDeleteI'm telling you if I do this again I'm going to lay down the rules the first day and maybe ask for a girl. I was so wanting for him to get comfortable before we started in, my mistake. I think we have some culture issues also and since most of the time and rules come from me it doesn't go over well. Ugh ... if I could get parents working with me it would be oh so much better. I've asked for support but didn't get anything. I would hate to have to do a move but if things don't get better I think that might be what happens.
How about taking the door off the hinge and putting up a baby gate? I am sure Roy is big enough to climb over, then again yours might be too...
ReplyDeleteHmmm...Might work for the kitchen issue too...just plop a laundry basket or something in the entry to 'remind' them of the rule.
Don't be afraid to start enforcing rules now. Have a sit down and lay them out and then just do it. If he wants throw a fit and go home, I say let him (I bet he gets away with a lot less at home).
Hope it gets easier for ya soon Hon.
You're SOO right I can't be afraid in my own house. Rules are there for a reason, not just to make my life fun. Since they only make life harder when I have to hear whinning! Something is going to give and this time it's not me!
ReplyDeleteThanks girlie!
May I please give you my 2 cents? Don't get mad.
ReplyDelete1. REFUSE to grocery shop at a store that doesn't have a Playland!! There are a TON of them out there!! Fred Meyer and Top Foods almost always have one!! Use it!!! Go to a different store even if it's further away and give yourself some sanity while shopping!!! Please, I'm begging you, do it.
2. PUNISH Roy!! His behavior is unacceptable!! I'm sorry but Alexis you need to stand up for yourself, and your family rules!! You're allowing him to walk all over you!!! Please please please don't let a 10-year old do that to you ANYMORE!!!
Posted by A. Cullen on Oct 28, 2008 9:21 AM
So true, I shop at places near to home and cheap ... LOL.
ReplyDeleteI so hear you about him, I've been making him do more around the house. Yup it's been fun!
You are the adult, act like it.
ReplyDelete