I'm an Addict ... Food Addict that is

I know when we hear the word addict we think of drugs or alcohol but not much of food.  When I was sitting in church this weekend our guest speaker talked about how we do good things but then we go and post on FB and Twitter etc about this great thing we did for someone else (called #humblebragging).  Made me think I do this, not in my head wanting to be recognized for the good dead just so proud that my kids are out there volunteering.  I need to rethink my way of saying what I'm doing.

2nd point he had that REALLY stuck with me is this saying:

Humility is not thinking less of yourself it's thinking less about yourself.  Thinking more of others.  

He gave us 3 action steps to make and one that stuck with me was Boast in your Weakness!  Every weakness is a testimony.  So hear is my testimony.  I'm addicted to food!  I have always battled my weight, it's been something I've been very open with this.  I've been on this weight loss journey for some time now.  I have been trying hard to get back to a healthy weight.  Believe me it's been hard work and a lot of sacrifice. 

I had a friend comment on Facebook:

Hey girl you are such an inspiration. You lost all the weight doing it the right way. Eating better and lots of exercise. You should consider doing a motivation/inspiration speaker. There are many over-weight people that believe they can't get back to healthy. They just need someone like you to tell them it is possible. Congratulations!!

I'm not a big public speaker, I do well in small groups.  But I do have a blog that I hope can be a forum to anyone going through the same struggles I have my whole life.  When I think back I was thinner child until around the time the lady we refer to the egg donor left when I was 5, after that the weight came on but not ton that came later.  Dad remarried and then the weight came on a little more.  Never feeling that I fit in during those awkward pre-teen and teen years lead to food as a comfort not for a source to fuel the body.  

The weight came on more when I become pregnant and never would loose the weight and then would go through the battle of loosing the weight all over again.  This will be the third time I've been on this journey.  Before my wedding I lost 80lbs, got pregnant on my honeymoon.  2 years later I loose 60lbs to get pregnant yet again!  5 years later I start the journey yet again.  Now I'm down 105lbs and still working on it.  I've hit a wall and not loosing any weight.   I've started to change my diet again doing different exercises to see if I can get some movement in the right direction.  I'm not giving up like I have in the past, I'm going to stick with this to get to my goal!

May ask how have you done it? I have done it through exercise and strict diet.  It has been a hard road of monitoring what I'm eating while other's around me and even me cooking for them a regular meal and I'm eating lean proteins with few carbs and very little sugar. It has not been an easy road and it will not be an easy road to keep it off but I'm grateful for where I am and the journey I have had to take to get here.

It's funny when you see people and they ask how much you have lost.  When I say 105lbs, some people say congrats but MOST will look at me and then with a shocked look try to change the subject.  It's like they don't know if they should say wow you were very heavy or wow you were obese.  

It's like with any disease or addiction from the outside people who don't have to deal with it have no clue what it is like.  This journey has helped me be more understanding of others and not being so judgemently (still working on this one).  Some of us wear our demons on the outside (like being over weight) and some on the inside.

I'm still a work in progress and taking one day at a time.  I find help from asking God to help me with this journey some may not and again this is a no judgement place.  We all find the thing that helps us move forward.  

I hope that my journey of failure and progress can help others.  Telling my story is one of the biggest form of humility I've had in a long time.  Weight has been a hard struggle for me and has pushed me to the ground many times.  Many people try to help in their own way and sometimes this help can be very hurtful.  People really do try their best and that is another lesson to learn (still working on that one too) that even with the words that cut like swords to my soul are coming from a place of love.

People around us may not always be that GREAT support system that we need, but that is something we need to learn that we have to do it by ourselves and for us.

Still on my journey and I'll make it there some day it may be in the next few weeks or maybe the next few months.  I know that it's a journey and one that I will be on for the rest of my life.

A few years back my friend gave me a book by our Pastor Dean Curry @ Life Center (Boost! 52 Infusions of wisdom to revolutionize the way you think and live):

My resentments almost always come from pride.  I think I deserve more deference, gratitude  and ease then Jesus enjoyed.  HUMBLE yourself .... 

The most beautiful places in nature have been shaped by STORMS more then by SUNSHINE. 

What happens TO YOU doesn't have to be a curse .... ON YOU. You can REVIEW, REBUKE, or RENEW everything that happens. 

God often hides something you need in someone (or something) you don't enjoy. M.Murdock.

"Brokenness" can become a blessing! How? It RELEASES us from attachment, REMINDS us of grace to live by, and RECONNECTS us to purpose. 

Humility is living without the need for a BOOST UP for yourself or a PUT DOWN for someone else. 

Optimism isn't overlooking FACTS to paint a false picture; it's overcoming FEAR to paint a better future.

Hope someone may find a boost or motivation.

This was a month or so back, need to take a new one.