Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Don't Judge Me ... (A time to reflect)

I interrupt my daily Wednesday Wrap of our weekend to talk about something that has been weight on me.
Judgement it's a funny thing! We some how along the line loose that innocents of being kids and become grown ups that Judge meaning to do it or not we do it. I grew up in the house that was referred to as "the better homes & gardening home" everything must be perfect and beautiful. Don't get me wrong I had a great childhood. Let's just say this chunk little girl wasn't always perfect, leading to heart break from not making the cheering squad, or any other kind of squad that dealt with tiny skirts or for that matter anything that would require coordination :).

After talking with a few different people this week I found myself judging them and giving advice like I'm the know it all of life ... hehe yup my glass house needed to be windexed! Who am I to say hello stop going out pay your bills or you can buy your kid a new toy each week but you don't pay for things, well hello they will be taken away :).

Hot Topics:

Weight: Oh this is a hot button for me, sadly I have been dealing with this one for years. Not only strangers will look at you and think and even say lovely comments about the lumps and bumps that are no longer smooth. Thank you very much for your comments believe me I know what is in the mirror, well maybe not I usually avoid those too :). This past week a blogger commented on a new TV show about over weight people how it is disgusting to watch fat people even walk across the TV screen let alone get frisky (Marie Claire online was the article - I refuse to put the girls name to give her any more links to her). I feel bad for this person they forgot she has her own flaws and seeing them up close and personal is not always the most comforting :).

Kids: Having a VERY hyper child leads for TONS of judgement from friends and family. You'll get the comments about how your parenting style is the reason they are the way they are. Which thankfully you're smarter than that and know that some things are programing in a child and not you, but doesn't mean it makes it any better! Advice comes into that box of sometimes meaning to be helpful but again a little judgement creeps in. Just remember we all think our kids are perfect and other peoples kids are out of control. Just remember that thought when your child is the one having the melt down or not listening.

Spanking: Oh man now this one has become a PC issue, the girls on the Talk spoke about this how it's a form of bullying. I think each person and parenting style is different. Sometimes the corner works or a swat on the butt does. Heck I did fear my parents but I think that made me who I am today, I respect them along with the reason I was always able to talk with my friends parents. Heck I still talk to the parents more then I talk to their kids. A level of respect and some fear can go a long way. Again who am I to judge.

Helping out & Volunteering: One thing I found when you volunteer sometimes you become the sucker ... hehe no really I love to help out and will continue to do so. But I have learned that sometimes when you volunteer you can be taken advantage of. Learning to say NO is not a bad thing, I was so afraid to say no because then I wasn't helping out and I wasn't doing my part. And some people would even say this to you that you need to help that it is how things get done and for Church that it's almost a requirement. Pace yourself and do what you can that is all that should be accepting and don't judge others who don't give and give you never know their story.

Jobs: So this is another HOT button here. Family and friends can put a lot of judgement on career paths. Rick works in loss prevention which in some peoples eyes is a dead end throw away job. They joke about how is his "dream job". I have found that we all find our own path what job works for one person may not work for someone else. We all don't want a 9 to 5 sit down job. We all find our path and can do great things with what we like.

Overall I needed a reflection on judgement, I'm far from perfect and judge way too often. I have a outside that sometimes makes me vulnerable to judgement and comments that can really cut me down. I always try to say it doesn't hurt but it does. Just like I know when Rick gets comments on his job or parenting style really cuts him down too. At times we make snap judgement's about people or things around us, we may even comment or giggle and whisper to others about it. I guess just taking a look in the mirror (which literally is the hardest thing for me) can be a reminder that words can cut and damage more than we would ever imagine.

Sometimes I just have to do a long wordy post :), I hope I didn't bore you but maybe made you stop and think like this did for me. Thank you again for being my friends and reading and going on this journey with me. I can't say it enough how many down days have been brought up by you.

15 comments:

  1. Oh boy, I related to so many of these topics. I have to catch myself giving advice to others. I am not perfect but sometimes I think the way we do it is right and everyone else does it wrong. Thanks for those thoughts...Sometimes we need to slow down and think about things like this.

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  2. My wonderful friend. I have know you I guess for almost two years. I really enjoyed this post and I am glad you said what you said. Judgement is a hard word to deal with. I know I do the same thing at times. Then I am able to look up and find the good in a person. I do know that you are an amazing Mom and Wife. You take care of your family and then yourself. You are a hard worker. I am proud to call you my friend. Thanks for this post! Love ya,

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  3. i'm with them..
    i am SO GLAD you posted this my dear... i agree on SO MANY aspects of what you said.. and.. reading this- it kinda made ME step back to and think over some things...

    i try my hardest to NOT judge.. do i ALWAYS succeed-- heck no!! but i DO TRY HARD... and i wish other could to...

    one day.. i hope we can meet!!!

    ----> and by the way.. you hair.. it looks STUNNING in that photo!!

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  4. Hey if he is happy and fulfilled in his job screw everyone else. If we didn't have people to do jobs others didn't want where would we be?

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  5. People can be cruel and talk before they think. I hope that I have never hurt you with a comment.
    I don't think I have because I know where you are coming from. Even if people haven't gone through the same exact thing as you they should have the ability to put themselves in your shoes and be kind to you. Why is that so difficult for people to do. Do they really feel better making a cruel judgement? They must have to do it for their own ego and that's pretty sick.

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  6. I think judgement is part of human nature. Judgement is also not always a negative, sometimes we judge others in positive ways too, and that of course is a good thing :).
    Love you girly, and you can judge me on that any day!

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  7. This is a wonderful article.
    I too find myself judging at times.
    I used to get judged on my weight a lot. I still have a weight issue, but haven't been judged in a long time.

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  8. Sometimes you have to let it all out there. That's what blogs are for.

    I agree with everything you said. I think we're all guilty of judging people at some point in our lives. I try not to do it as I know how much it hurts when the scrutiny is pointed at me.

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  9. I am still glad you posted it... Did I tell you how wonderful you look in this picture my Poser friend. Love ya...

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  10. I am so bad at judging others and I cannot keep my mouth shut and not give advice. I am trying to work on it but it is a long path with me.

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  11. Um, yea... I am SO judgemental. LOL But, at least I can admit it right?? =) Really, Im pretty much all judgey with people I dont like. And Im really supportive of the people I DO like. Does that make sense?

    Love the pic by the way!!

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  12. Judgement sucks and this is why I teach my kids to never judge people. It hurts in the long run. This is a great post.

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  13. This is a great post and a reminder to everyone to think twice before judging someone unfairly or saying something without thinking first. I've been having a hard time with some personal issues right now and it makes it so much worse that people say things to hurt me and I take it to heart.

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  14. I don't judge YOU... just those in their late 30s wearing too much make up, raiding their daughter's closets and wearing sparkle butt skinny jeans. :) HAH HA HAHAHA

    I luff you girl... I don't care if you're blue, purple, waifish, plump, have ten kids on Ritilin or two that are high spirited. :) You're awesome!

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  15. So, so true. Reminds me of the "Starry Night" song, which refers to "my plank filled eye." It can be easy for us to see what's wrong with everyone else, yet conveniently overlook our own flaws.

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