So last week I mentioned my mom was wanting to spending Christmas at her cousins house. Well it looks like I'll be starting some new traditions this year.
Some of you may know my dad remarried when I was around 9 to the person I know as mom. My "egg donor" mother left when I was 5 and I only saw her once after that. When my dad remarried we went from a small family to my mom's rather large extended family. Now don't get me wrong everyone is very nice and cordial but something about being a step child you just never feel like you exactly fit in. So it's not that I don't care for my mom's extended family but spending my holiday with them is like feeling like that outside all over again. Thanks but I rather enjoy my holiday and want to feel easy, I don't do well when I don't feel comfortable.
So last year after a lot of tears and some comprises (all on my end) we went to this cousins house for Christmas dinner, under the assumption that it would be this one time. Dinner was ok, talk was ok but again it was like being on the outside of the bubble. You ever go to a party where every one knows each other and you're trying to bust into the bubble! Yup, plus when you have young kids it sucks being at someone else's house that has older kids. You running around sweating and just wanting to go home, but it was such a far drive you have to stay!
So this year when I received an email from my mom that she signed us up again to go, my heart sunk! I love Christmas and putting on the dinner and having my immediate family here to enjoy and laugh together. I was so sad that my parents wouldn't be a part of these very special day, yes Rick you called it Thanksgiving day went so well it was bound to happen to Christmas! So mom told me she doesn't get to see her uncle but once a year. We won't mention he only lives 30 minutes away from her and we just saw him at the family reunion 2 months ago. Those who know me will be very proud I didn't cry when she told me (I'm a weeping willow). I just asked nicely if she could stop by on there way there.
So there it is my Christmas won't be exactly the way I wanted it but it's a new beginning and I have the people that are most important to me here. Yes I know I'm a whiner but sometimes you just need to vent ;). Thanks to everyone who sent me encouragement words last week about this. I really appreciate it bunches!
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I feel for you...you are resilient, even though it is not fair, life that is sometimes...create a different environment for the boys, so that they do not feel that...the other children will probably grow up with different attitudes and embrace your boys in a new light...hugs
ReplyDeleteOh and I had to laugh, because since hubby is gone and his job is to check the mail...well I am afraid I have to go check it now! Your pic of you with the envelopes reminded me, YIKES...
This gives you the perfect opportunity to create YOUR new perfect Christmas memory.
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain. I got crushed for the second year in a row on Thanksgiving. Maybe in some way it IS for the best. Like the peach tart said, now uyou get to create YOUR tradition your way.
ReplyDelete{({BIG HUGS})}
God's gifts come with many different wrappings....
ReplyDeleteOh I wish I lived closer. I would be over in a heart beat. I am away from my family this year and it is always hard on me at times. I will have my husband's family. But now I do have my little family and I love that. I know we will all be fine. Love ya..
ReplyDeleteYou know, it's really her loss.
ReplyDeleteyou are so not a whiner.. and it would hurt my feelings too.. but its alright, you can just have a wonderful day with your family, and you wont have to worry about other, and doing for others, and what others want... its all fine, think of those precious and crazy little boys of yours... they are all yours honey!
ReplyDeleteOh girlie, I hear you, but I'm sure your Christmas will be wonderful. We are staying home this year too. It's funny but every year we go both to my parents house and to my in-laws, and if we don't go there, they sure will not come to us! But I know we'll have a wonderful time, just us!
ReplyDeleteWith the people that you love, nothing else matters...
ReplyDeleteI don't know how I missed last weeks post! I am so sorry!
ReplyDeleteYou will be with some of your family which is a blessing in itself. The nice thing is you get to see your mom and dad frequently. You'll still have a wonderful Christmas!
xoxo
I think someone put it perfectly about creating your own Christmas memories.. you are such a great mom and you are so creative!!!!
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful way to think of it-a new tradition! It sounds exciting! ;-) I'm sure your Christmas will be wonderful and hopefully relaxing! :-)
ReplyDeleteThat probably would have hurt my feelings, too. My parents don't visit us at Christmas because they say the traffic is too bad. (They drive from FL.)
ReplyDeleteYou will have a wonderful time with your cutie-pies and it is your mom and dad's loss that they won't be there.
Have a very Merry Christmas!
I believe that you will fall in love with this new tradition. I shower and often put on some new PJ's, this year I got a lounge plaid dress! I know it will be different but it's Home For The Holidays! Watch some great Christmas movies and make a great dinner. I can't imagine spending Christmas where you feel left out!
ReplyDeleteI SO totally understand! Been there done that with The Hubs daughter, but it will just be the two of us this year, oh, and of course Nano - he NEVER leaves us!
ReplyDeleteYou will have a wonderful time making dinner for, as you said, the ones who mean the most to you!
Plus now both boys can help you and it will be so special.
Just think of all the special memories you will have of just the four of you opening gifts and sharing the time together... and of course taking photos for the blog so ALL of us can see, too!