Thursday, July 22, 2010

Working on me!

Monday is my anniversary, seven years we've been married. I'm coming to a point in my life that I need to reflect so bare with me today everyone!

Over the seven years we've had our ups and some very downs. As you know I'm a say it how it is kind of girl, there are no rose color glasses here. Over the years we've gone threw many growing stages. We got pregnant on our honeymoon which didn't leave much time for us to be a "married couple". Having a child was wonderful and changed my life and my focus. I put all on hold me and my relationship. At one point I started to work on me, but not my relationship. We hit a very rough time and I vowed I wouldn't let our communication get to that stage again. Things where said and done that could have broke us, but we moved threw.

Then came second baby and I let it go again. Being unhappy with myself can really put a damper on communication and feeling loving. I once again put all myself into the kids, letting myself sink into a unhappy feelings about my weight and putting a block between us again. Now I'm not taking all the blame I know it takes two for a relationship, but today is a reflection of me and seeing patterns. Along with that is my hope for growth, understanding and finding my new path.

Along the way I've learned many things relationship take work and at most times that means a lot. When communication is lost so are other things that can lead to hurt feelings and more. Not feeling great about oneself can lead to shutting others out which also is NOT good for a relationship. During these times you must listen and see signs from your partner. Cracks can form and before you know it a damn can come rushing at you. There are friend, family and others that can pick at these cracks and make them worse. Even worse there are others out that will take advantage of these cracks and play it for themselves. People are funny they are out for themselves and I've learned that not everyone is there to nurture and boost up your relationship.

Things I plan to work on from this point forward for ME no one else I've learned I've must put myself first before I can take care of anyone else. The rest the chips will fall where they will. I've given and given and accepted things I thought I never would. Self esteem is a funny thing if your not feeling it you let yourself go. I know that forgiveness is something we must do, and I'm working on that also.
  • I will take care of myself and become healthy and comfortable with myself
  • Listening, that means getting off the computer
  • Knowing that I am beautiful and worthy of love
  • My kids are taken care of and I can share this load
  • Taking time for Adult Time Away is a MUST
I can't see the future all I know is that I'm going to give my all to self improvement and know that it is in God's hands. Whatever comes at me I can take but it whatever is to come I will take and I will know that I've done my best.

Cole drew a picture today and told me Mom this is you Strong!
Boy kids are smart!
yes that is suppose to holding up the weights :)

Thanks for listening, I find it's better for me to write and get it out so I can make changes I need to do!
Our Whacky times, Need more of those :)

33 comments:

  1. Congratulations on seven years! The self-esteem statement is so true...if you don't love yourself you're not capable of accepting or giving love to others. Hugs. Good luck.

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  2. First off, yay for 7 years! No matter how rough things have gotten, you've shown that you're in it for the long haul and that's more than many people can say these days! Good for you!!
    I love love love the picture Cole drew. It's so great that even at his age he can see the strong woman you are. With that strength and the determination you are showing now, I know you will succeed in the goals you stated here. Praying for you and Rick!
    xoxoxo

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  3. happy 7th anniversary! well, what do you know? none of us are perfect even if we try so hard but always good to work on the bad and sort things out sooner than later. here's to brighter things in life! :D

    ~ash's mum

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  4. Happy Anniversary! And good for you for taking care of yourself.
    xoxo

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  5. Great post! You really made me think about things that I should be doing for myself too. Congratulations on seven years! You are so right it does take work. Good for you for taking care of yourself too.

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  6. Love this post. Congratulations on your anniversary!

    I like your to-do list, and I agree that those are all important. You are a wonderful person. It's not selfish to take care of yourself so that you can love others out of a full heart.

    Adult time away is HUGEly important! My DH and I have started carving out "alone time" at home in the evenings. We need that "grown-up" time to talk, to keep our marriage strong.

    Cole's drawing made me smile. It's great that he recognizes you as a strong woman!

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  7. Happy Anniversary....

    I am so proud of you. You are so right in what you have said. You do have to take care of you. I know that is hard when you have a lot going on. You are just like me. I put others first but that can take a toll on you. I love your list and know you can do it. Thanks for giving me something to think about.. I am sending hugs. I love the picture Cole drew for you.. He is just so amazing. Have a great day and weekend..

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  8. congrats on 7 yrs...
    and i won't give advice.. cause well... we have not been married 7 yrs yet.. and we have no kids.. and EVERY relationship is sooo different..
    but i will say.. girlfriend you are soooo in my heart and prayers... love ya muches you ar one of my fave peeps in the bloggy world.. so wish we could meet one day...
    i'm thinking of ya!!!

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  9. Happy Anniversary! :D Keep it all in balance is hard between kids, hubby, and yourself. We often neglect ourselves. I know I do.

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  10. This is me, holding a pair of pom poms shouting "Go Alexix, G-O Alexis, Gooooooo! Alexis!"
    And congratulations on 7 years. I know how hard it can be to get there.
    And you are absolutally right about taking care of yourself first. You can't take care of others if you are not there! If you get you sorted out, then the other stuff will be a hell of a lot easier!
    Rock on Girlie! Come over for coffee soon!

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  11. I just read a quote yesterday about Happily Ever After. Great way to end a story but reality is another thing. They don't tell you about the work that is involved to even get a glimpse of that! I have been through it all and in the long run it is worth all the work.
    Taking time for yourself is a step in the right direction. It's okay to say No too! Have a wonderful anniversary and a blessed marriage.

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  12. Lex, you are one of the most amazing women I know. You are so strong and sensitive in a positive way. Yes, when we lose ourselves to our children...our relationship with our husband declines. You have the right plan, we take care of ourselves first then we can be a better wife and mother for them. You keep focusing on being healthy...it will happen little by little and you will feel better about you. I know all of this because I work on the same things daily...and still deal with the ups and downs of being a mother and wife but I can see improvements daily in all areas. Short Term - Small Goals keep me going and not feeling like I have failed. It took me a long time to figure that one out...along with how to lose weight after birthing 2 children. Reflection is a great place to start and then your plan of attack will certainly regain your self-worth.
    You are a Blessing in our life and all of those around you.

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  13. Happy Anniversary! And what a compliment to be thought of as strong!

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  14. Congrats on 7 years! I'm wishing you many more filled with happiness!

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  15. I guess I read this differently than everyone else because of what I've been through. I saw a lot of myself in your plan of action. I had to put myself and my happiness first, and it wasn't until I went into marriage counseling ironically, that I realized the marriage needed to end. So, while I would love to wish you a happy anniversary, what I wish most for you is a happy you, always.

    I love you!

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  16. Happy Anniversary.
    If you are not happy life will suck. So do what you need to do to get there. Happy does not have to be a size two. That is a fallacy. Happy is being comfortable with yourself and to heck with the world. A lot of it comes with age. It really does.

    It truly does not matter what others think.

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  17. This is the cutest blogs I have seen in a long time...Totally CUTE.....Have a few hours to blog hop....Love nights like this.......Hope you will stop by....new giveaway on my holiday blog...A BOOK EXTRAVAGANZA!

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  18. Happy Ano Darl! *HUGS* Take it easy, ur an amazing wife and mother and such a strong woman!

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  19. Congratulations on your upcoming anniversary. I know exactly what you are talking about. My dh and I will be celebrating 32 years on the 29th. Has it been rosy all the time? No. There are always rough patches and bumps along the way.

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  20. Happy 7 year anniversary that is amazing! So happy you are going to do what YOU need to do. We always put ourselves on the back burner as we are now mom, and have so many responsibilities, we just tend to let ourselves go. Trust me it's happened to me several times since having my children. It's always hard at first, but be strong, confident and just do it. You will get there, and feel amazing. Your son drew the best photo, so true. You are strong...hugs! Have a great weekend!

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  21. I am working on many of the same things so I feel what you are trying to do! Hang in there girl, take care of you.

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  22. You go girl! Put yourself first for a change. Have a very HAPPY anniversary with many more to come!!

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  23. Good for you. You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else. We share many of the same issues and the same 'let it all hang out' approach. Hugs to you. Hope Rick is on board with all this, too.

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  24. happy anniversary dear, hope u have many more happy ones to come xxx

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  25. Congrats Dear! Happy Anniversary. Its funny you are only a year behind us. Its great being married to such wonderful guys. You and me are some very lucky chicks!

    I shared your blog on mine for some link love. Have I told you that your blogging made me want to blog. You inspire me everyday. I learn something from you everyday and I need you to know that. :)

    xoxo

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  26. Congratulations on Lucky 7!

    I have missed you!

    I loved this post! I did this very thing over the last several months...I really just had to unplug and take care of me...It Worked!

    I know you will be happy you did this for yourself!!! You are ToTaLlY WORTH it!

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  27. Very thoughtful article. For a fresh take on building strong careers and families, check out Getting to 50/50 -- on how men and women share roles with all sorts of good results -- including a healthier sex life. The book also debunks some common myths that cause many moms to back away from their jobs. Authors Sharon Meers (a Goldman MD now in tech) and Joanna Strober (a private equity exec) share their often funny tales of combining work and family. Definitely a book worth checking out. www.gettingto5050.blogspot.com

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  28. I think you are a fabulous person who knows exactly what you need to do for yourself and your relationship. Don't let the others (friends or family!) get you down or tear you apart. You are a wonderful wife, mother and woman.
    Cole is absolutely right, you are so strong, you can do anything you want and need to do to get through anything and everything that comes your way - look at what you have accomplished in the last 6 months.
    Go get 'em girlie.
    Happy anniversary to you and Rick.
    All my love & friendship!! :-)

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  29. Ha ha... funny,I just postd a comment about something related to this on another of your posts! Ha ha...

    Happy Anniversary.

    Men drive us nuts but... we still love 'em don't we!?!

    They see us at our worst and still love us anyway.

    Cute pic too!

    AND... GOOD FOR YOU SISTER! I'm proud of you.

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  30. Congrats on the seven years. I wish you both the best with the rest of your lives together. I also wish you all the best with working on what you need to do for yourself.

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  31. Happy 7th Anniversary!!!
    I wish you all the love in the years to come! :)

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  32. Girlie ((hugs)) I can relate, and same as you we had so many ups and downs here! It's never easy! Hope you guys will work this out, and I wish you all the best :)

    You are awesome, don't you ever forget that :)

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  33. You blog is fast becoming one of my favorites...

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