Working on me!

Monday is my anniversary, seven years we've been married. I'm coming to a point in my life that I need to reflect so bare with me today everyone!

Over the seven years we've had our ups and some very downs. As you know I'm a say it how it is kind of girl, there are no rose color glasses here. Over the years we've gone threw many growing stages. We got pregnant on our honeymoon which didn't leave much time for us to be a "married couple". Having a child was wonderful and changed my life and my focus. I put all on hold me and my relationship. At one point I started to work on me, but not my relationship. We hit a very rough time and I vowed I wouldn't let our communication get to that stage again. Things where said and done that could have broke us, but we moved threw.

Then came second baby and I let it go again. Being unhappy with myself can really put a damper on communication and feeling loving. I once again put all myself into the kids, letting myself sink into a unhappy feelings about my weight and putting a block between us again. Now I'm not taking all the blame I know it takes two for a relationship, but today is a reflection of me and seeing patterns. Along with that is my hope for growth, understanding and finding my new path.

Along the way I've learned many things relationship take work and at most times that means a lot. When communication is lost so are other things that can lead to hurt feelings and more. Not feeling great about oneself can lead to shutting others out which also is NOT good for a relationship. During these times you must listen and see signs from your partner. Cracks can form and before you know it a damn can come rushing at you. There are friend, family and others that can pick at these cracks and make them worse. Even worse there are others out that will take advantage of these cracks and play it for themselves. People are funny they are out for themselves and I've learned that not everyone is there to nurture and boost up your relationship.

Things I plan to work on from this point forward for ME no one else I've learned I've must put myself first before I can take care of anyone else. The rest the chips will fall where they will. I've given and given and accepted things I thought I never would. Self esteem is a funny thing if your not feeling it you let yourself go. I know that forgiveness is something we must do, and I'm working on that also.

• I will take care of myself and become healthy and comfortable with myself
• Listening, that means getting off the computer
• Knowing that I am beautiful and worthy of love
• My kids are taken care of and I can share this load
• Taking time for Adult Time Away is a MUST

I can't see the future all I know is that I'm going to give my all to self improvement and know that it is in God's hands. Whatever comes at me I can take but it whatever is to come I will take and I will know that I've done my best.

Cole drew a picture today and told me Mom this is you Strong!

Boy kids are smart!

yes that is suppose to holding up the weights :)

Thanks for listening, I find it's better for me to write and get it out so I can make changes I need to do!

Our Whacky times, Need more of those :)