Friday, February 25, 2011

High Standards

High standards by my parents have given me the drive to be who I am at work and in life. I was always good in school and strive to get high grades and enjoyed school. I've taken this threw me to go onto jobs.

When do high standards for you stop and when do they stop for when you put them on others?

Do we always expect other's to stand up? What if they don't?

Along with excelling in so many fields the one thing that has always been a trouble is my weight. This is nothing I hide you know I talk about how hard it is for me to loose weight. I've done it several times and after having Caden this last time it has become harder then ever. I know it I'm working hard to change our diet and do better at other things to help. Believe me it's not something I am not aware of. So when you have someone in your life who believes that every time they see you they need to comment on this one short fall it can really get to you!

Why is that we think we are giving critic but it is actually more destructive then helpful? Tough love is not making a comment each time to a person we are worried about. Maybe we need to change our standards to helping the person instead of putting them down. Would that be a better plan to build up then tare down? Just imagine what we could do by helping others.

A dear friend told me the other day that she has seen what the critics has made me the mom I am that goes over and sometimes beyond to give the boys all the fun times and activities I can squeeze in. She is very right :)

So what do we do? I choose to keep on the course I am going to become a better all rounded (yes that is a pun) me. Not let the negativity effect me and the only way to do that is not be around it. That may mean I see the people in my life who are free to judge and hand out the standards a little less and just be happy with who I am. I know easier said then done but as you can see I have my "Super Mom" cape on and I'm going to make a go at it. As another friend of mine said you have not "accepted" this hand that was dealt to you but you are coping. And that my friends is the best I can do :).

Standards, Do you let them effect you? Do you have that person in your life who feels the need to tear you down because they believe it is for a better good?

When is Good enough? When is it to cut ties with people who are not there to support and lift us up?

15 comments:

  1. AWWWW...What a wonderful post! I can relate so much on all of what you wrote. I tend to keep things in and not show my true reactions when people say things that are hurtful. That all changed this year! I always answer as nicely as can be "Now, what made you say that?" then I stay silent....I don't say one word until they do....if they try to explain their stupidity away then I simply say "Hum.....interesting." then I walk away!!!! They usually quckly change the subject because they feel embarressed.
    Wait is it a bird?
    A plane?
    No..it's super mom!!!! You Go Girl!!! GET "EM!!!!!Blessings, Joanne

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  2. Great post and I hate that people are tearing you down. It kills me. I had a huge blow in my life in 2004 with more than extreme postpartum depression. I lost all my friends to it. Not one person besides my husband, and close family stood by me in this time. So now I've learned who are my true friends and never let anyone get to me. I know what an amazing wife, mom, daughter, aunt etc that I am and will NEVER EVER let anyone tell me different. I say walk away from those who are doing this, you'll be better off, even if it hurts at first. Big hugs mama I wish I could meet you because I know I would love you!!!

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  3. The older you get the less you will care what others think.
    Trust me on this. Believe it or not it IS true.

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  4. Hiya there.. You know in grade school , and then into high school i had to have my friends around me all the time. and into some of my adult hood.. but now that i live like 900 miles away from my home town I dont have many girl friends here.. and you know what I am quite happy that way. I dont have many guy friends either..Its the point I dont have many friends at all. I have my hubby and girls to keep me busy. I talk to the people i work with but its not an OMG I need to go out tonight with the Ladies..

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  5. Ah sweetie this post made me a little sad because I just wanted to pop over to your house for a coffee and a cuddle as you sound like you need one. Maybe I felt a little sad as I might need one too. I always feel like I need to please everyone and since having Youngling I've had to accept I've lost a lot of friends and a part of my old life. Which I do not begrudge for one second. Sometimes it can be hard though. Doo has extremely high standards in cleanliness etc so I am always trying to look my best etc for him (and make the house nice). But only to make me happy too. We all love you here hun :-) xx

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  6. You know I have the same weight struggle. It's been the one constant in my life all these years. For now I'm trying to focus on being healthy not on the actual weight and I'm trying to drown out all the negative voices in my head with cardio. :)

    Hugs to you! I love your cape. You look beautiful in it.

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  7. Hey there! I nominated you for a blog award. Come check it out on my blog www.findinglalaland.com :)

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  8. Alexis,

    What I can say about you is that your spiritual gift is encouragement. I know this for a fact! I honestly can not think of a time you have not encouraged me. Love you!

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  9. OMG Alexis..I have been thinking about writing a post just like this on why we feel the need to be perfect! My weight is a huge factor in how I feel about myself, my attitude towards others etc. I am so tough on myself because of it. I know we look at each others pics and say we are beautiful and I guess we both need to believe it! We ARE beautiful and need to get over the flaws we see. Thanks for sharing...now I need to do my post one of these days soon! :) xoxo~!

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  10. Oh my dear friend. You are an amazing woman and I know that someone like you can keep on going. Let them go if that is best for you. Who needs the drama. I love the picture. Did you get a new hair cut? Have a great day. Know I am here for you always..

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  11. Well written and you know I'm behind you 100% and I love you.
    You are the most special woman and your children are very lucky to have you as a mother. I know it is almost impossible for you to sever all ties with the person who is trying to bring you down, but I think you need to limit your contact or if you can... stand up to this person and tell them to leave you alone. :)

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  12. The truth is we will never be good enough to someone. There will always be someone that things we can be better or do better. The key is knowing that those that love you truly love you for who you are....not what size clothes you wear. But first you have to love yourself!

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  13. I use to do it all. It was my husband who never made me feel worthy or good enough. I didn't get much support from my parents because my mother drank and my dad was seldom home. I finally, many years later, decided that I have to love me for who I am and not let others opinions get to me. Once I became ill with my asthmas/COPD I had to let go of who I was. I know you are a beautiful person and a great mother. ((HUGS))

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  14. Atta girl! You gotta look after #1 before someone tries to fill you with #2! :) LOL

    :) (Made ya smile!)

    THIS is the girl I missed!!!

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